GIVE COMPLIMENTS 3.22

Goal: To improve social-relationship skills

Objective(s): The student will be able to make comments that acknowledge positive aspects about a person or their accomplishments.

Process Steps:

1. Decide what you want to tell the other person.
2. Decide how you want to say it.
3. Choose a good time and place.
4. Give the compliment in a friendly way. (McGinnis and Goldstein, p. 130)

Discuss

Definition: A compliment is saying something nice to someone sincerely.

Rationale: It feels good, it makes people happy.

Where/When/Comments:
• Discuss kinds of things to compliment: appearance, behavior, an achievement.
• Discuss timing: when others aren't busy, when a lot of others aren't around.
• Put emphasis on sincerity in body language and wording to avoid embarrassing yourself or other person. ((McGinnis and Goldstein, 1980, p. 130)
• Discuss how it feels to both give and receive compliments. Discuss that some people have trouble accepting compliments about themselves and might react defensively.
• Elicit from students times they could have given others compliments.

Set the Stage:
• Video: positive examples (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 83) positive and negative examples. (Hazel and et al, 1980, p. 72-73)

Model/Role-play with Feedback
• Students read from prepared script. (Mayo and Walto, 1986, p. 93-97)
• "Student of the Week" posters - Have students vote for a student of the week. Students practice giving compliments to that person and teacher writes the compliment on the poster.
• Videotape students giving and receiving compliments.
• Do a class exercise in giving self-compliments by having the students write their names vertically on a piece of paper and writing a compliment word for each letter of their name.
• Students brainstorm a list of words to be used for complimenting physical characteristics, qualities, and accomplishments.
• Pair off students. Have each student compliment the other.
• Pick one student and have the other students write a compliment about that person on an index card. (Deckert and et al, 1989 p. 125)

Role play situations:
• You compliment your neighbor's new motorcycle.
• You compliment a parent on a good dinner.
• You compliment a friend for making the football team.
• You compliment a friend's new shirt.
• You compliment a co-worker on finishing clean-up quickly.
• You compliment a teammate on playing well.
• You compliment a boy you like who dances well.
• You compliment a sibling on way he arranged his room.
• You compliment a classmate on his art project.
• You compliment a classmate who completes a difficult math problem on the board.
• You compliment your teacher on a new outfit.
• You compliment a friend who has new shoes.
• You compliment a friend who shows you his new C.D. player, new bike, or new jewelry.
• You compliment your mom when she gets all dressed up to go out.
• You compliment your brother's new jeans.
• You compliment a friend on getting a starring role in a play. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 46-49)
• You compliment a classmate for help in obtaining homework assignments. (Walker and et al, 1988 p. 46-49)

Application with Feedback
• Students are assigned as "complimentors." Other students who receive compliments from them report to teacher (either individually or in group at the end of the day.) If compliment was given correctly, student can add marble to jar which when full, earns a treat for the classroom.
• Student completes behavior contract, listing person they will compliment and possible reason, then reporting back or having the contract signed by the person.


Social Skills Curriculum Guide, 1992
Special School District of St. Louis County